The Butterfly Passge

JN"Dark Room" blogger.com
Oct 27, 2018

JN"Dark Room" blogger.com
Oct 27, 2018

While writing this piece, I was at my father's car in a fast lane in order to pass the traffic throughout the city. Each turn and motion energetic as a tried writing this piece. What was worse was I didn't have an eraser and I couldn't think of anything surreal. I wanted to do something that was more connected to myself. So I tried a simpler approached that wasn't surreal but left open for interpretation. I wanted to create a dialogue where certain colors represent the opposite for certain characters. For example, the blue character(Lucy) is rude and arrogant, while the color blue simulates camminity and creativity. This contrast allowed myself to image the personalty of the character better. Though, looking at it now, it still needs improvement with writing.

The conclusion of my story was something I didn't think about for long term. It didn't have a point it needed to go. Or at minimum was straying away from the conclusion as much as possible. The sentences mostly consist of phrases or incomplete sentences. There doesn't seem to be many dependent clause, rather independent clauses. The fanboys are limited, with only 'and" to be around for the most part. This, to myself, would make sense. The concept is that they're trapped in a dark room, and are somewhat in a state of panic. In other words, wouldn't for the most part be necceraly to add extra details into some dialogue if they can't see anything, or are not holding anything in a room with nothing. Just quick phrase to get their ideas through.

JN"Dark Room" blogger.com
Oct 27, 2018

JN"Dark Room" blogger.com
Oct 27, 2018

There are certain themes within the story. Mainly, I would say the themes being worry, mystery, and anger. These being shown through the characters rather then the narrator. We see this the best in the yellow character, who had just given up at the start.

My hope was for this piece to develop the characters and see where they would all be going and discovering. An idea of mystery and worry. Something where the character's wouldn't discover the room, but also eachother for the audience to see.

Day 2: Caterpillar
On the second day, I tried to revise my piece on the problems I saw. There were four chooses I had to pick from in order to improve my story.